“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable, can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”
~ Fred Rogers
What we resist, persists.
Even when our rational mind does its very best to “talk us out of” certain ways of behaving, showing up, and relating, too often we find ourselves stuck in old patterns unconsciously replaying old wounds that no longer serve our current paths — or our dreams of who and what we want to become.
Nowhere does this unconscious programming become more evident than within romantic relationship and partnership.
No matter how we might try to push down, repress, or otherwise withhold our past woundings, the inevitably play out in our current relationships as we try to get needs met now that we couldn’t get met then. Often, our wounded inner children are driving the boat, so to speak, and their ways of meeting our adult needs might be inartful, at best.
If we want to create a different future, we must — at least for a short time — turn towards the past and — in so doing — the body.
It’s all summed up in the words of Besel van der Kolk’s classic tome on trauma — “the body keeps the score.” It truly does!